The other day in the car, Annie started to tell me something and she started off with, “When you get rid of me…” What? I think she thinks the new baby is replacing her or maybe it’s because I’ve threatened one too many times to ship her out of the country when she’s driving me mad. I reassured her, I was not getting rid of her, now or ever.
While I love all my babies the same amount, I have a special bond with each one, that’s unique to just them. With Annie, it’s always been, because she was the baby. Perhaps I coddled her a bit more. Or secretly enjoyed her sleeping next to me more. It doesn’t help matters that she is so miniature and petite. At 4 years old, I can still easily carry her around. Even on her worst days, in her crazy Annie moments, she has this way of mesmerizing me with her tiny self and her little cartoon voice. The way she stands in front of me with her little books that she’s authored and proudly tells me a story that makes absolutely no sense. But I don’t care, because, that voice. I love that little voice. I love the way she still uses adjectives as verbs. Instead of telling me she cut something out, she’ll say, “Mommy, I sharped it out” I kind of hope she does that for longer than she should. I’ll correct her one day, but not now. As excited as I am to meet the new baby of the family, my heart hurts a little knowing that she won’t be the baby anymore. Let’s face it, with each new addition, there is less of me to go around. A newborn requires a lot of attention. There will be times when I will have to put his needs over hers. She’ll adjust, I know she will. They all have when it was their turn. For now though, I’ll just soak up these last months of her being the baby. I will tell her, as my Mom did me, that she’ll always be my baby. Nothing can ever change that.
Just a side note. I took these pictures at construction site in our neighborhood. It was after hours and no workers were present. Even though, it might look like in some of the pictures, she’s about to be scooped up by a big excavator, she is not.